Friday, September 25, 2009

It's All in the Attitude

My last post was a beginning, if you will, into that small window called "My Life". I have so many things I need to start talking about in that life. It seems the last few months the creative energy in my head has been put in high gear. I eat and sleep writing. Some say it is venting, some say it is a release, honestly...I say, it is God reviving in me the things He has been teaching me for so many years. Now, I have a place to put it down on paper to remember and share some of my struggles, miracles, and spiritual journey with my friends so hopefully they can see God is a different way. And in seeing Him, that they might be a little stronger, have more hope and believe more in this wonderful Father we call God.

How many of you read the old testament?  I personally, love it. I pick up those chapters and just breath in the Word. I walk into the chapters and they come to life in my head. I see the Israelites struggling in the desert. I see Abraham struggling with some of the choices he made. I feel the pain and desolation of being disconnected from God. And then I see the vast great pleasure of who my God really is.

In the old testament there are some powerful lessons.Lessons that take a lifetime to understand. And mountaintop lessons we may never understand. The biggest lesson, God loved his people enough not to leave them where they were at. So, he taught them how to completely and abandonly depend on him.And when the lesson was fulfilled he wanted them to remember, Neveer to forget. So much so that the Israelites  would stop and build an altar in rememberance of what battle they just won, what provision God made for them, anything of importance that God did for them. I love that. That is why I write. Because I want to remember, not the pain, but the Majesty, the Holiness, the incredible Dad I have in God.

What I have learned from this small concept is attitude. It is amazing what your attitude can do to your perspective. Maybe the bills are higher than the mountain, maybe your heart is so broken you think it will never mend, maybe you need answers but there are no answers to be found,. Whatever the circumstance, attitude is what is going to get you through. I am not saying you have to be perfect. I would be the last to say that. We do get mad, frustrated, angry, hurt, scared, unsure. We go through all those emotions at once sometimes. But, we start little by little and remember what God has done in the past. What miracles did he perform to help us walk to the next step. Then, as we remember our attitude changes,. And as our attitude changes, so does our perspective. And out of that, something that was lost is now found, hope.

Right now my life stays in a rollercoaster. I really have to spend time with God everyday to keep my perspective. And boy, I have to fight the enemy away that would love to steal my joy. When Olivia is hurting and there is not enough pain medicine. When neither one of us is sleeping because she is hurting. It really can take a toll on you. But, when I sit down and get quite, that still small voice reminds me of all that God has brought us through. How He is the physician for Olivia. That all of this is in His control. Not the Doctors, not my bill collectors, not my lack of sleep, and the one that really gets to me all the time....the frustration of not being smart enough to figure it out. That is the thorn in my side. I want to figure it out so I can have a place to control it. Wow, the lessons that are in that one statement. I hear you talking and the wheels turning already.  And after 40+ years, I am just now learning to let it go and let God handle it. That one lesson is a lifetime of learning and maybe not until we get to heaven will it be perfected. It is just too hard for our human brain to not want control. So back to attitude. Back to remembering what God has done through His awesome love and I can lay that control on his altar and ask forgivemess and be renewed in my heart. My attitude gets so much better overall. Towards Him, my friends and family and I have a new perspective and joy on life.

I hope I did not bore you today but thought I might write out some of my musings :) Have a wonderful weekend and as always

In His Grip
Barb
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